The assertion that parents bear almost total responsibility (90%) for their children’s departure from faith is an overly reductionist perspective that disregards the complex interplay of factors that shape a person’s spiritual trajectory. A holistic and discerning analysis of the issue is indispensable to comprehend the diverse dynamics that contribute to instances of youth apostasy.
The narrative of Khidr and Prophet Moses (AS) as found in the Quran provides valuable insights. The story illustrates that despite having virtuous parents, a child might deviate from the righteous path. This point is further reiterated by the Quranic invocation of Prophet Zechariah (AS) (رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ), demonstrating the potential discordance between parental piety and offspring’s righteousness.
While the significance of parental influence in fostering a child’s faith is undeniable, it is imperative not to assign them the overwhelming burden of their child’s apostasy. Parents play a crucial role in inculcating religious values in their children, but this influence coexists with a plethora of other determinants that can impact a child’s spiritual development.
Other prominent factors, including societal environment, peer pressure, exposure to harmful ideologies, and media narratives, significantly contribute to a child’s faith journey. In light of this, it is impractical to expect parents to control all the influences that their children encounter. Parents’ influence, though significant, is just one among many factors shaping a child’s religious beliefs.
Therefore, the assertion that parents should be held responsible for 90% of apostasy cases amongst their children disregards the significant variability and inconsistency of the influencing factors in a child’s spiritual journey. Especially in contexts where negative influences are abundant and parents are incapable of total control, instances of apostasy may understandably rise, despite the parents’ best efforts.
This point becomes increasingly clear when examining the engagement of Muslim youth with mosques in the United States. Notwithstanding the best efforts of devout parents, an overwhelming majority of Muslim youth, by some estimates more than 95%, do not regularly frequent mosques. This phenomenon underscores the extensive impact of external factors that are outside parental control. Consequently, attributing the vast majority of blame to parents in instances of apostasy is overly simplistic and unjust.
In conclusion, while parental influence is a key factor in shaping a child’s faith, it is crucial not to overestimate their responsibility in instances of apostasy. Recognizing the multifaceted nature of this issue can lead to a more comprehensive and nuanced understanding. Approaches that extend beyond parental responsibility and engage with community initiatives, peer education, and counteracting detrimental narratives could be more fruitful in addressing the challenge of youth apostasy in Muslim communities.
