In modern times, a manufactured fear is often instilled in women about the institution of marriage. The narrative being put forward is that becoming a housewife makes women vulnerable and financially and emotionally dependent on their husbands. It is not clear who the agents are behind this artificial fear, but it seems to be a deliberate attempt to create a sense of uncertainty.
Many women who choose to become traditional housewives encounter this pervasive fear in society. They are often questioned about why they would choose to be dependent on their husbands and are advised to find a job that would help them earn money independently, just in case something happens. The “what-if” scenarios are endless and include fears such as abandonment, cheating, abuse, and widowhood with children.
While the modern world has created an environment of fear and uncertainty around marriage, it is important to understand that every aspect of life involves inherent risks that cannot be avoided. For example, pursuing higher education may lead one to lose faith and become an atheist, spending decades obtaining degrees may not guarantee a job in the economy, and working for a company may lead to abusive managers or arbitrary dismissals. In light of these risks, marriage is not the only endeavor in life that involves a degree of uncertainty.
Despite the risks involved, marriage has always been endowed with a certain degree of risk for both the man and woman. However, it is important to recognize that we have no knowledge of what’s going to happen tomorrow or how our decisions will affect us or how our choices will play out. The best way to overcome this fear is to trust in Allah and follow our feminine fitra by embracing marriage and family, using the means at our disposal to vet options thoroughly, and ultimately making decisions with tawakkul.
The modern feminist liberal world tends to focus on specific kinds of risk and ignores others. It emphasizes the risks of getting married, having children, and working cooperatively with a husband, despite those being the very things that many women desire in their hearts and dream about from childhood. It simultaneously trains women to ignore the risks of spending decades pursuing a secular, liberal western education and working for employers to whom we’re just a faceless number.
To avoid making decisions based on fear and pessimism, we should embrace our natural femininity and trust in Allah’s system. By doing so, we can allow ourselves to trust and enjoy our spouses, ultimately fulfilling our purpose and experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.